Chapter 11: But If I Reached for Your Hand, Would Your Eyes Get Wide?

“That sounds like a date.” There was a grin in Kayla’s voice—I could hear it in spite of the hundreds of miles that stretched between us.

“Not really,” I said, keeping my voice level in an attempt to calm my former college-roommate down. “He just had an extra ticket to the baseball game, and I agreed to go.” I did look really cute though.

“Mhmm.” She didn’t believe a word of it. I couldn’t blame her; I had already spilled my guts about the impossible, impossible feelings that had risen up in me the past few weeks. “Well,” she went on, “you let me know when you two have finished dancing around each other…”

Dancing. The word sent my stomach to wrenching. 

“Kayla, I wasn’t going to tell you this. I haven’t told anyone else.” I hesitated, then forced the words out before I could overthink them. “But after what you just said, I’m thinking maybe I’m supposed to tell you.”

I took a deep breath. “You know the dream I had? About the airplane hangar?”

“Yeah?”

“There was another part to it.”

~

The airplane hangar was full of people. People dancing. Not a fast dance, but not a slow dance, either—something like a waltz.

Danny was my dancing partner. He wouldn’t touch me, at first; he was doing some goofy, joking dance. And for a while, I played along.

Then I stopped, and looked at him. Are we going to do this for real, or what?

So we danced.

We didn’t really know what we were doing. It was probably awkward. I twirled around, or tried, at least once.

By the end of it, people were staring, like in the movies—not because we were either great or terrible—I don’t really know why. Maybe it was all in my head. Maybe it was pure imagination.

~

(Of course it was imagination. It was, after all, only a dream.)

~

“And why didn’t you tell this to anyone else?” Kayla teased. The grin in her voice had evolved to barely-contained laughter.

“Well, the meaning seemed pretty obvious, I guess. And I didn’t really see a point in telling Danny. It’s not like he needs any more encouragement.”

~

Later, after another phone conversation in which I revealed my heart-change to Cat, another dear friend I’d met in college, I found myself at the computer screen again. But this time, it wasn’t to read a message; it was to write one.

Alyssa Rose                                                              September 7, 2013, 12:10pm
When I was speaking to Cat yesterday, I mentioned I had known you for about seven years.

And Cat said, "That's how long Jacob worked to get Rachel."

(Which isn't an exact parallel, since Jacob was tricked and ended up having to work an additional seven. But I was still like,)

Wow.

There was once someone on this planet as crazy as you.

I don’t know how many times I reread it before I clicked send. And as I did so, I knew my world was about to change. 

This was my decision to love, forever.

~

Daniel Sheedy                                                          September 7, 2013, 8:01pm

I like this subject : D

I'm thinking that it's only crazy when it's not really understood, though : p

Those 'crazy' seven years seemed only like days to him : )

~

(I've never doubted the decision was the right one.)